Hello there...

We've been enjoying some family time while the Hubs was on vacation for the past two weeks. He goes back tomorrow and that means that I deal with the crazy hectic schedules again. It's been fairly relaxing though and I've enjoyed it. It allowed Hubs to really see everything Daredevil has been up to and has caught him up on Tot's speech progress. Tot is doing fantastic at his school and I am just absolutely amazed at how far his speech has come in just a couple short months. Daredevil is trying more foods, but we are still dealing with sensitivity issues. But, I'm happy to see that she's definitely willing to try different foods. As a result Tot is now trying more foods as well and re-trying some foods that he used to eat when he was just a bit older than she is now. I'm hoping her positive influence along with his school will encourage him to try more of the foods we are having at home.

I managed to strain my knee last week when pushing too hard on a walk/jog. I actually landed poorly at the end of my session on some soft-packed sand and got the injury that way. So, I'm still healing. As soon as everything is good I can't wait to get back out and put my new sneakers through a good test. They feel great to be honest. I could go for very long stretches in them which is how great they feel on. And I'm notorious for hating to wear shoes even though I used to own a very large number of them. And I have to cut this short as Daredevil is pulling on my shirt. I think it's time for a new diaper and some nursing time.

Changes. Changes. And more changes.

So, I'm still going through one of my moods. I think I want to change the name of my etsy shop but I have no clue on a name. I will entertain possibilities though. If I get enough options to choose from I may also hold a giveaway or do a discount. I'm not sure, but it'll be something.

I'm also trying to decide if I want to reside here at this address or if I'd like to move over to an address that says theunsuccessfulwife dot whatever. Seems more suitable since that's really what this is about. I already know I'm dreadful at blogging. :-P

And I'm also trying to compile my knitting list for the year for the kiddos. It takes so long to knit one item for them but I enjoy it. And Daredevil needs more wool because that's what works the best for her I'm finding. And seeing her in wool that I spent three weeks making for her makes me happy. I'm a sap. What can I say? That's what I've got going on right now. And I'm actually making my way through my pantry. It's in small steps but it's happening. Seems like all that's needed is a brief moment of inspiration.

The Joys of Sleeping With A 3 Year Old

Tot has been sleeping with me for the past couple weeks because my mom was visiting and then after she left he still had a yeast infection. The infection was waking him up because his diaper had exploded a couple times each night requiring changing of all sorts. He's in disposables for just a couple more days and then I can get him back in cloth which my sanity and wallet will greatly appreciate. He's not willing to learn how to use any size potty so I need to look into my future cloth options with him. That's a tangent for another day though. Tot let me sleep in. I should have known that something was up though when he got out of bed and I heard a shaking noise. He was bored waiting for me and Baby to wake up which is what led to this....

And me having to do this....

With the final result of salvaging....

He had stuffed his amber necklace into Baby's new toy. Thankfully I managed to save it without it breaking. I'd like for Baby to be able to size up into it since Tot doesn't wear it that often. She leaves hers alone since she's used to it being there. I didn't get Tot one early enough so he likes to treat it like a toy when he tires of wearing it. I keep telling him when he's done he needs to give it to me to put it in a safe place. I think I'll keep repeating that mantra for the days he's wearing it.

Onto the food!

We have a constant power struggle in the house over food.  Tot only eats certain things.  There are things I don't like or can't eat.  So, I'm about to get started on that pesky New Years list involving food.  I want to start working on clearing some things out of the pantry so I can really start with a really fresh, and hopefully healthy, pantry by mid year.  That means I also want to get together a list of things that should be canned this year so we always have something we can grab and eat of out there for quick dinners and more specifically quick lunches.  There are a number of things on my plate for today since Tot goes back to school tomorrow.  But, the biggest thing is to take stock of what's in my pantry and then come up with some great recipes so we'll have some good things to eat.  I'll post a list later of what I have in there so I can reference it later.  Right now, time to get dressed and hang a blanket out on the line.  It had been sitting waiting to be washed since the summer and I just was too lazy to throw it in.  Well, now it's clean so I gotta get it dry so I can put it on the bed tonight.

It's a new year...already?

Where did last year go?  I had a baby.  Tot is getting bigger and finally starting to talk a little more.  He starts back up at preschool again next week so we'll see what his speech therapy does for him in the following months.  Hubs is still training at the moment for the job.  He just had a minor injury and is worried how that will affect his final and graduation which is soon.  So, I've got my fingers crossed because I don't know how much more roller coaster riding I can do without needing a trip to the cardiologist.  Baby, aka Daredevil, aka The Destroyer, is really getting that walking thing down.  She's becoming independent of sorts.  She still comes to me for loving with every fall unless Tot gets to her first to kiss her boomers away.  So, really where did this past year go?

Well, like I said there the arrival of Baby.  She is as breath-taking today as she was almost a year ago.  Her first birthday is arriving soon.  I can't believe it.  Hubs finally got into the field and job he'd been waiting on for almost two years.  This meant that we got to finally move out of the living with family situation that had been taking place for two and a half years too long.  Thank you to our family that put up with us because I know it was hard on everyone involved.  And Tot...well, we're still working to help Tot with things.  But, he is fabulous.  There are days he makes me want to pull out every single hair on my body with a pair of tweezers and there are days that he make my heart melt in a big pile of mush.  And I am just taking it all as it comes.

I have some plans for myself this year:

I plan on doing some sort of couch to 5K thing whether it's walking or running.  It will most likely be walking because until I'm done nursing I don't have a sports bra strong enough to provide the support I need not to be knocked out by the artillery while running.  I have visions of that though in the future.  The running, not being knocked out by artillery.

I plan on using up everything in my pantry by mid-year and making a few dietary changes to be healthier.  This includes doing more meal planning especially since there are just so many fantastic recipes out there to try.

I plan on starting a garden and growing some of my own favorite veggies to eat and can.  Which means I plan on having a pressure canner this year.  The water bath is fun but there are lots of things I'd love to just be able to grab from the pantry and eat rather than buying prepackaged.

I plan on doing a few sewing and knitting projects for myself.  I do them for the kids and Hubs already.  It's about time I do something for me as well.

And I plan on deciding my next course of action for finishing up that pesky Bachelor's degree that I always keep meaning to finish.  My biggest problem with that is that it's just a piece of paper.  And if I get that then I know I'll want to go onto get a Master's which means I generally have to decide what I want to major in.  My problem all along really.  I want to do something that I'll enjoy if/when I ever go back out into the 9-5 world instead of being only a 24/7 (Stay at home wife/mother for those not in the know).  As it stands I still don't know what that would be.  And I still couldn't tell you what I'm good at or what I'd excel in and feel fulfilled.  I did the 9-5 thing before and I worked where I was incredibly unhappy and plain angry.  The paycheck provided a roof over my head and food on the table but I was miserable.  I want more than a paycheck the next time.

So, there it is.  My list for the next year.  Not much.  Not impressive compared to anyone elses, but it's my list and that suits me just fine.  And since it's taken me the better part of the day to get this written I need to go finish supervising dinner and what's being eaten.  Tot still has half a plate and is off playing with the laundry to go in the washer.  And Baby Daredevil is well... just that.  Being a daredevil and giving the cutest smiles she can muster because she knows she's doing things she shouldn't be doing like pulling all the diapers off the changing table.  And she brought one out to me and is chewing on the tag.  Good thing Bum Genius doesn't void warranty for tag chewing.   Off to mind the zoo.  Happy New Year all!

Shower time

I decided to get in the shower with Baby the other day and I generally try not to because I worry about her slipping and falling.  I put her bathtub in the stall with me and let her splash while I tried to compete for a Guinness record on how fast I could wash and shampoo/condition with a very low flow shower head.  She wasn't feeling well getting over a throat infection and then heading right into a cold.  She decided that splashing in her tub which is normally fun for her was not going to be so that morning.  She kept standing up in the tub.  As soon as I got the last of everything out of my hair I picked her up and held her to me under the shower spray.  Wouldn't you know she snuggled right in and stayed there and I kept putting us both under the spray so we stayed warm. 

After the shower was over I wrapped us both in blankets and took her to my room since I knew she was hungry and fed her.  I decided not to put a diaper on her right away.  Instead I put a towel down and we both got under the blankets and I let her nurse.  The skin to skin contact was just so incredibly sweet.  Sometimes I get so sidetracked with the kids routine that I forget to take the time to enjoy the little stuff like that.  I think I'll try to make that a more frequent occurrence.  Baby actually was breathing better for the nursing session and she enjoyed the snuggle time.  Her sweet little hands kept rubbing my stomach and she'd reach up to my face and touch my lips until she closed her eyes.  All in all I've gotta say it was a sweetness that I relished and I don't take the time to enjoy anywhere near enough.  I keep thinking that tomorrow that she'll still be my baby girl.  But, as I see everyday in Tot whose face is changing yet again she won't be a baby for much longer.  She has already taken her first steps in the past week and is taking more and more every day.  I need to enjoy every minute of her babyhood because in just a short while she's going to be a toddler and then she'll really be living up to her Daredevil nickname.  Hope everyone is getting ready to for a good and happy New Years!

In a rut anyone?

If you're in a rut raise your hand.  ::waves and flails every body part that moves::  We're seriously having some trouble here.  We're all tired and bored.  I can't get seem to get unpacked because the kids require constant refereeing and separation.  More that Tot needs to be constantly monitored around Baby.  He loves her most days and loves on her with hugs and kisses but he still needs to be watched.  So, I want to finish the unpacking which is slow going.  I can't believe that the only thing I had time for with packing was to just throw things in and then think, rather mistakenly, that I'd have help with the unpacking. 
Hubs is incapacitated at the moment since he's training.  The whole single parent duty tends to suck some days.  This past week has been especially hard because Tot had his psychological evaluation and he's had a lot of tantrums just from his own brand of boredom.  It's time to rotate the toys here.  For myself, I really need to get the sewing machine unpacked.  I'm sorry to say it's still in it's box as I haven't been able to get to it.  On my own I've been able to unpack two boxes a day if I'm lucky.  So I am one burnt out mama at the moment.  I relish the day when Hubs is officially done training.  He's getting the kids and I am going to the bookstore and holing up with a good book and a hot chocolate or some other decadent treat.  Until then I'm supporting a very caffeine-laden-Coca~Cola-a-day habit.  I should buy stock which how much I've spent on six packs of them.  Which reminds me I need to put that on my shopping list.

It's been awhile

I've been dealing with a lot lately that I haven't had much time or energy to do anything other than get through the day. With the move some big changes have been in the works for us. Setting up a new routine...well, more of adjusting to not having a bunch of people around. Routine is still the same. Tot has started testing with the local school district because he missed the cutoff for Early Intervention. You see, we've known now for a while that he's got something going on but just don't know what. From the beginning he's always been very high needs. If you don't know what that is here is a great idea of what that means. With all of this as he's gotten older he also has some incredibly intense tantrums that involve head banging on the nearest hard object, throwing toys/cups, and screaming like a banshee. Ignoring does nothing other than exacerbate the problem. So, we've started on getting Tot tested. I'm hoping that with this we will get some hopeful answers as to what is going on with him and so we can all learn to cope with the tantrums and help him navigate through his emotions so that he can have more time to play and be happy instead of spending so much time frustrated and angry. So that's where we're at right now and that's part of why I haven't been around to write. And I'm off to feed Baby. Have I mentioned that she's learned how to crawl and sit and now she's working on cruising? Oh boy!

Hello Floor!

There finally is a place to walk here in the house that's more than a small barely passable path...at least in the living room. I'm having such a hard time trying to figure out what to do with all my kitchen stuff. I know I have a lot of it but it's stuff I don't want to part with. I can part more with paperbacks than my kitchen stuff and that's a lot because I love books as well and have a hard time parting with them. I'm almost ready to finish setting up the kids room. Then I work on the kitchen to finish setting that up. Our bedroom will be last because I'm the least worried about that room. Anyway, there's more to share but unfortunately Baby is getting upset that there's nothing easy for her to grab onto to try to stand and it's almost her bedtime.

The joys of moving...or not

So, we've arrived to our new destination. Which means we no longer share a residence with the in-laws and no longer live in the in-laws basement. Can you hear the world lifting from my shoulders?

The drive was long with Tot and Baby but not as bad as I was expecting. They did phenomenally actually. We stopped at a friends house about midway through the drive and stayed there for two nights to recover. When we finally arrived in our new area I have to admit I was incredibly tired and definitely needed a couple days of sleep. I didn't get that necessarily but our belongings did arrive so now I sit here in the midst of piles of boxes that badly need to be unpacked and well I just don't feel like unpacking tonight. Biggest reason is that I just feel like crud today. I woke up with muscle aches and non-stop coughing. Fun times since I think I woke Baby several times last night with the coughing. At least she's easy to put back down by popping a boob in her mouth. And yep I just said 'boob'. The word that is on my list of least favorite words. It drives me nuts, but that's another story.

Anyway, I'm checking in here since we've arrived. We have internet finally. And do you know what's funny? When we arrived I saw left on the counter for me to fill out was a rural postal route directions card! Now, to be honest I don't live in the middle of the sticks but I just thought that was funny because I've never lived anywhere that needed something like that to be filled out. The other funny thing is that I decided not to get cable because I can't justify the cost of satellite. We decided to go with Netflix though and so far two days into the free trial we love it! I curled up today with Baby and watched season 1 of Roswell since it was all I could do today with not feeling well. And Tot got his customary episodes of Bob the Builder (the one bit of children's programming I don't feel the need to bang my head constantly on a wall to watch). Right now, we're watching Planet 51 which so far is cute. And now I'm off to work on fighting my current fever. Next time I'll tell you about the chickens out back. And my new best friend here which is my mop. I love it! Happy Friday Night all!

A Reflection:The final day of the year and decade

It's been an interesting 10 years to say the least full of changes and indecision and new paths. This past year has left us still in a place of uncertainty as we wait to hear on job applications that have been in place for many months. We are expecting a new addition to our family in just a couple short weeks. This year has also taught me to love my sewing machine even though I quite frequently have a hate relationship with it as well.

I am thankful for my husband and child. They give me great pleasure as well as the normal heartaches and aggravation. I'm sure I dish out just as much to them.
I am thankful for the roof over our heads even though the situation itself is less than ideal and quite frequently hard to accept from a lack of independence.
I am thankful for the work my husband has been able to acquire this past year and very thankful that we've had health insurance through his service to country.
I am thankful that I get to be a stay at home parent to my child even though it came with a few prices (the SAHM came as a result of numerous layoffs and childcare being an unaffordable option in today's economy).
I am thankful to have a fairly healthy pregnancy with our second child and am happily awaiting her arrival.
I am thankful for the friends we have who have been so supportive emotionally when we've needed it.
I am thankful for the wonderful support network I've made with some incredible women online who I can go to when I want to learn how to be even more eco-friendly or just budget conscious in general (they're who really got me to try knitting again, albeit slowly, so that I could help cut some of our diapering costs).
And most importantly I am thankful for the health of my family and myself and that we have made it through this past year relatively unscathed.

In the coming year I look forward to:

Job opportunities for my husband that he will enjoy and is looking forward to
Time spent with my husband and two children
Learning some more domestic skills that have fallen by the wayside but are slowly making a comeback (like canning which I look very forward to finally jarring up my own sauce)
Some sort of stability (if it can be called that for anyone) and getting back on our feet
And I look forward to getting the ocassional bit of quality time to myself so that I can continue sewing and maybe even pick up some of my old favorite books for a re-read.

These past few years have lead me on a journey that I never would have imagined for myself. I got married to my wonderful husband almost 6 years ago. We had our first child just a couple short years ago who is growing into a wonderfully imaginative person. My plans for serving my country didn't pan out originally but it's still not off the table in a year or two at which time I will look into my options again as it's still something that plays in the back of my mind.

I still haven't quite figured out the direction I'd like to take for finishing my college education but I'm slowly realizing that I'd still like to be able to do something that helps people. Originally that was going to law school and specializing in family law because I wanted to work with adoptions. It's still an option. My other option that has been coming to mind lately is becoming a chiropractor. I've not been injured but in terms of the daily wear and tear on my body of caring for and nursing a toddler it has been beneficial to be able to go so that I can be physically comfortable again. And even in my pregnancy it is proving to be a beneficial tool and something I am seriously considering as I'd like to see more people have the same comfort factor and option for pain relief.

This decade has taught me even more about loss as both my father and his sister, my aunt, passed away. They were two of my favorite people in the world and their passings came at crucial times in my life when I could have used their guidance and had to go about my life without it. And while I rarely show the emotions from their loss I will admit that I am deeply saddened but I know that they are onto bigger and better things. The loss of my father-in-law also occured barely more than a year into our marriage and that was also difficult to deal with and accept for the entire family. These people were all important to us and to who we've become and their presence will be missed especially as our family expands.

I am slowly learning as well that I can't plan everything much to my chagrin. I still try to and I am learning to try to go more with the flow. You'd think I'd have this down after over three decades, but nope. My wish for everyone in the coming year is to have health, a turnaround for the sadness in their lives, the ability and will to follow their dreams/heart even if they think no one is cheering for them and more happiness overall.

Happy New Year to all! And best wishes for a green and prosperous year ahead!