Shower time

I decided to get in the shower with Baby the other day and I generally try not to because I worry about her slipping and falling.  I put her bathtub in the stall with me and let her splash while I tried to compete for a Guinness record on how fast I could wash and shampoo/condition with a very low flow shower head.  She wasn't feeling well getting over a throat infection and then heading right into a cold.  She decided that splashing in her tub which is normally fun for her was not going to be so that morning.  She kept standing up in the tub.  As soon as I got the last of everything out of my hair I picked her up and held her to me under the shower spray.  Wouldn't you know she snuggled right in and stayed there and I kept putting us both under the spray so we stayed warm. 

After the shower was over I wrapped us both in blankets and took her to my room since I knew she was hungry and fed her.  I decided not to put a diaper on her right away.  Instead I put a towel down and we both got under the blankets and I let her nurse.  The skin to skin contact was just so incredibly sweet.  Sometimes I get so sidetracked with the kids routine that I forget to take the time to enjoy the little stuff like that.  I think I'll try to make that a more frequent occurrence.  Baby actually was breathing better for the nursing session and she enjoyed the snuggle time.  Her sweet little hands kept rubbing my stomach and she'd reach up to my face and touch my lips until she closed her eyes.  All in all I've gotta say it was a sweetness that I relished and I don't take the time to enjoy anywhere near enough.  I keep thinking that tomorrow that she'll still be my baby girl.  But, as I see everyday in Tot whose face is changing yet again she won't be a baby for much longer.  She has already taken her first steps in the past week and is taking more and more every day.  I need to enjoy every minute of her babyhood because in just a short while she's going to be a toddler and then she'll really be living up to her Daredevil nickname.  Hope everyone is getting ready to for a good and happy New Years!

There are some changes coming in the months ahead

We're slowly purging through our belongings in order to lighten the load for a move across country.  I'm trying to figure out a way that I can get a little bit of time to do the things I need to do while keeping two children and a husband happy.  We've donated a lot of things that could use more loving to our local Goodwill.  It actually felt like relief to be letting go of things that I'll either never fit into ever again with my post baby body or is so out of style that it probably never will come back. 

The tandem nursing has been interesting lately with Tot lack of desire to cover his teeth while nursing.  I've been limiting the amount of time he's nursing at bedtime because I just can't handle the pain from it.  I think this is fair to be honest.  Even with the headphones on I can't get past the teeth.  So he gets a couple minutes and then he's done.  I stay with him and offer him plenty of hugs and snuggles until he falls asleep and then I get up and nurse Baby until she falls asleep and I can put her down for her first shift of sleep. 

There are definitely some changes to come in the coming months once I figure out how to manage my time with everything.  I'm hoping to have a new look for the blog here and hopefully everyone will enjoy it.  I'm also hoping to be able to add to my etsy shop once I finish getting the majority of our stuff packed for the move.  I just have our area here at the house to pack up and about 30 more boxes/bins to purge through and get over to storage.  Plus, I'm still slowly working on my handmade Christmas projects so that everyone gets a little something since this year is going to be sparse to say the least with the move so close to the holidays.  Anyway, off to feed a baby.  Happy Friday!

It's been awhile

I've kind of been in a funk the past few weeks and haven't really felt up to posting.  Today I got to get some baking done and I feel my spirits lifting for a bit.  I made some cookies that are absolutely fantastic from the Rumble in the Kitchen Blog.  It's here for anyone interested. I'll shorten the link later when I have time to do it.  Right now I have tot playing next to me and baby is about to need to be fed in a few minutes so I'll make it short.

I've been having a hard time the past couple nights with nursing tot partially because I've been so tired with the couple of extra wake-ups  he's had this week.  He's learned to say a number of new words and when he does get more than three a day he doesn't sleep very well.  Last night he decided that nursing with his teeth was more comfortable for him.  He wasn't biting but he wasn't covering his teeth with his tongue and had a poor latch.  So, it's not a comfortable nursing session.  I do have to admit that putting on the headphones and listening to some music is helping very much with the agitation I've been feeling and it's been letting me relax enough to be patient and not get frustrated when tot decides to take an hour to unwind before falling asleep finally. On the other hand baby slept very well with almost 4.5 hours under her belt before needing to eat.  That much was nice so I could get some solid shut eye for a couple hours.  I don't expect sleeping through the night results like that on a regular basis so when it happens I'm pleasantly surprpised.  I'd honestly say that she is a better sleeper from the get go than tot.

As for the funk I've been in it's been a mentally draining couple of weeks.  I've been not wanting to do much because I feel like I'm under a hawk's eye all the time.  Plus, being a one car family is tough when there's things to walk to but not really anything of interest.  There's only so much I can walk to the grocery store or into town with all of it's very pricey shops.  The closest book and fabric stores are actually too far to walk to safely with two kids in tow.  If it was just me I'd get my sorry behind in gear and walk it but I don't trust other drivers to really care not to whiz past me at unsafe speeds even with one baby in a carrier and the other in a stroller.  I should know because I've taken the same roads at the same over the limit speeds, but I do slow down when I see runners and cyclists so they can remain safe.  But, not everyone subscribes to that way of thinking.

And now the move which is one of the big changes going on for us is only 5 months away roughly.  I'm still trying to decide what to keep and what to get rid of because this far of a move is expensive no matter how you look at it.  So, with all that in mind I have to just try to focus on one thing at a time which means I don't get as much done right now as I normally could or want.  Let me just get through these next couple days in my sleep deprived state with nursing tot to bed as he's learning new words and skills.  Happy Hump Day everybody!

It's a long road

Breastfeeding two children.  The tot is nursing before bed now as the only nursing session.  I'm just not handling the tandem thing as I was hoping.  I get fairly agitated with it and tot also likes to use teeth quite frequently.  However weaning is not going to happen without a fight on his part because he's so stubborn about keeping the nursing.  I think what I'm going to try tonight is putting on my headphones and listening to some music while I nurse him so that I can take away some of the irritation I feel with nursing him which is the sound of him nursing when he's actively doing it.  This is so hard because I really feel so conflicted.  Nursing has been such a great thing for him but at the same time it's also something I'm not enjoying and maybe that's because of the amount of stress we're currently under and also trying to make sure baby is ok and happy at the same time as well. The hubs gets his quality time in with her at that point and plenty of snuggles which he always enjoys.  He also falls asleep with her fairly quickly so it's hard to get him up to go to bed and hand her over. 

Tot is also not feeling so hot today so I'm guessing there may be an extra session in there as well.  So, the get-sick-child-better instincts will kick in and hopefully give tot whatever antibodies he needs to feel better and keep baby protected as well.  I will say though that after two and a half years I have finally gotten the pinching to stop on tot's part while nursing.  After several months of telling him it hurts and that he's done if he doesn't stop and offering him my hand to hold onto instead, which has turned into my holding onto him completely, we've been mostly pinch free for about a month.  So that is a success!  Happy feeding!

Reusable Nursing Pads

So, I have heard wonderful things about Artsy Fartsy Foo Foo Milk Maids. These are waterproof nursing pads that are phenomenal. A friend gave me a pair last week as a gift which I've been lucky enough to try. I had originally been using the cotton ones from Dr. Browns which are completely worthless if you have a forceful letdown. I leak through them in seconds and since I'm a jeans an tee shirt kind of gal I had huge wet spots on my shirts. You have to have luck and agility on your side to snag a pair of these when she stocks and it is very well worth it. I have been too slow to snag a pair up because my internet connection always seems to go down right as I add them to my cart.

So, a few weeks ago I got tired of the leaking and having to keep my moby wrap on me even without the baby in there while in public. I decided to try my hand at making my own reusable waterproof nursing pads. Granted they do work. I used leftover PUL, hemp fleece and some flannel to make mine. They are not pretty by any means nor are they perfect circles like the Milk Maids. But, they did work and I now have two pairs of nursing pads in rotation. I have a pair of the Milk Maids and a pair of my own.

I originally had two pairs of my own but my wonderful hubs lost the first pair I made and I can't find them anywhere. So, someone at the laundromat probably looked at them and couldn't figure out what they were and trashed them. So my hard work went to pot. I used a pair of the Dr. Brown's as my template and just figured it out from there. From this, I have learned I can't sew circles any better than I can draw them. It's not easy! And to leave the sewing of circles to the professionals....for now. I have some things I'd like to sew that are circles but nursing pads are not on my list unless I'm in dire straights as I had been these past few weeks. For now if I need more I'm going to keep stalking Hyena Cart and I know I'll pick some up one of these next few stockings since I can start anticipating when the internet is going down here. That's a story all in itself though. Here's my feeble attempt so you can have the comparison. ;-)

I'm going dairy free for awhile

So I had been watching while my poor baby has been really gassy, uncomfortable, mucousy and rashy. I spoke to the pediatrician about it because it seemed to coincide with when I had dairy loaded meals or she got a nightly bottle. The doctor agreed with trying an elimination diet for a month to see if this would help. It's been a week of checking packages of everything I'm eating. I can honestly say that I did not realize how much that milk is in. I eat a lot of cheese and chocolate and bread. These things are pretty much all on the no go list now. I have to really search for dark chocolate that doesn't have milk solids in it. Luckily I found some at Trader Joe's and it's good but still doesn't quite hit the sweet tooth spot. As for bread for sandwiches...forget it! I have to make my own. Luckily I got a bread machine for Christmas. Today will be my first attempt making bread with almond milk. I'll let you know how it goes. So, I'm still mourning the loss of a huge part of my diet. On the positive side sweet baby is already starting to look less rashy and diaper changes are not as rancid and sickening. That is a definite upside. And breastfeeding is so important to me that losing the ability to eat some of my favorite foods is worth it for the baby to feel better. But you can be guaranteed that the day I'm no longer nursing or baby doesn't have any issues I'm having a donut or some peanut butter cups or a big Greek salad with extra feta. Until then I'll just dream of the foods I miss and hope to see continued progress of weight gain and overall health for her and myself. And I'll come up with ways to make the most of the new menu as I try to mangle my way through it.

The weight struggle

Our baby girl is still having some struggle with weight gain. I am now working with a lactation consultant to help me sort things out. I'm starting to add pumping sessions in where I can so I can supplement with my own breastmilk and get a supply boost as well.

We're still using formula to supplement and while it's not my ideal choice it's helping our daughter do what she needs to do which is grow. I do not envy any moms the diapers because the formula poops smell different to me and are stickier. And the expense of the cans are crazy that I just balk at the store when in the aisle. So we go in and have her weighed with the LC later this week to see if there's more/any progress. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for some positives for her and will keep chugging along between the formula and pumping which is my least favorite activity. My pump and I have a love/hate relationship. She pulls on my nipples that all I hear when her motor is working are expletives because that's what I'm thinking. And I coax myself to relax to get the job done as quickly as possible. When a session is done and I see however many precious ounces in the collection bottles I am thankful and think that I have to hook up with the bitch later on for another torture session. What can I say? I'm working on it.

Tandem breastfeeding

So, now that my newborn is here we are tandem nursing. It is an adventure in itself and not always the most pleasant so far. My high needs toddler is still working through jealousy issues and my newborn is a lazy nurser who I have to figure out how to wake up to nurse. The baby is finally above birthweight at 6 weeks old and that was a struggle. Waking her at night was the biggest problem because the world could come crashing down beside her and she'd sleep through it. She right now is sleeping a four hour stretch and then wakes up. We, unfortunately, are being asked to supplement even though I know why she wasn't gaining in the beginning between being jaundiced and then sleeping so much in a 12 hour stretch at night. Our solution to the sleeping is sleeping with her and letting her have full access at night. So, she nurses after her four hour stretch for the rest of the night until the toddler wakes up. When he's awake then we start our day and get rolling. I'm still trying to figure out how to meet everyone's needs including my own. But, I just started reading "Adventures in Tandem Breastfeeding" by Hilary Flowers and I'm sorry I didn't start it when I got pregnant so I could have prepared myself better. I'll keep you posted on our journey! Happy lactating.

2 years and going strong

I wanted to post because we have now been nursing for over two years and the relationship is still going strong. The nursing definitely helped over the summer with the final four molars trying to come in all at once or at least very close together. It helped with pain and some tantrums as a result of frustration from that pain. I have a feeling that we will be tandem nursing which is fine with me as long as both children are fine and getting what they need out of it. My only complaint with nursing has been the tot's love of pinching while nursing. No distraction or comfort object has worked to cure pinchy fingers. But all in all it's going well and for that I'm incredibly happy.

Still going....

My child has been breastfeeding now for 16 months without an end in sight. The past couple days have been going closer to the side of exclusivity because of some schedule issues this week. I'm not complaining, but I wrenched my shoulder from poor nursing posture in bed and now it hurts to nurse at night laying on my right side. The nice thing is that DC has been trying some solids the past few weeks which is nice. There is a definite love of carbs and garlic. Definitely my child. We're still working on getting some veggies in there, that's just going to take patience. I'd love for DC to also start taking to beans too for some protein, but I have to plug in the crock pot for that soon. Which reminds me.... I need to go recipe hunting. Happy nursing to all! :-)

It's been just over a year of exclusivity...

...with breastfeeding. And tomorrow, we start DC on cereal. I know that our relationship is not ending, but it is changing. And I am sad to see this change. My baby is now considered a toddler. I have enjoyed breastfeeding this past year to be honest. The beginning was incredibly hard and no one told me beforehand just how hard it would be. I almost came close to giving up and going to formula on a couple of occasions. But, in the end I stuck in there and am so glad that I did. I have a happy, healthy thriving child.

I know that our decision as a family has caused a lot of issue amongst our respective families, especially with DH's very involved family. I understand that they mean well, but I never asked for their opinion on this and never wanted any advice regarding it. I know that DH's mother supplemented with him when he was a baby. And that is what she had to do and felt was right to do. However, I do not feel that formula is or was right for us. And I have no intention of ever using formula for our baby or any future children. I only wish that I had thought to start this blog last year so that I could have shared with others what has gone through my mind and what we've experienced over this past year. For now though, this all the energy that I have to compose my thoughts and I am now going to relax so I can go to bed.